she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
