so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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