so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize