You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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