Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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