Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
