He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
