He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
