He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
