i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
