You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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