escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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