he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
