Me. At least after what I've been through.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize