You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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