Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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