At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
