dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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