She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
