Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
