I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize