How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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