true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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