saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
