You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
