she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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