Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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