Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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