He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
