i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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