I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
