That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
