Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
