Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
