glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
