Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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