Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
