Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
