my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
