i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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