It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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