the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
