Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize