Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
