I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
