I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
