I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His nipple licking is glorious
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