Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
