Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
