I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to calm my uterus...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
