so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
