I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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