I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
