So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
