White coat. Heels.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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