Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
