eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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