But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't turn off my feet"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
