you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
