My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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