I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
