well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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