Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
